Dad

Song:

(Again, I apologize for my post... I fear I'll never have a flowing, coherent blog because I'm just innately a messy person...)

I chose this song because it's always meant a lot to me... With my dad being in the Navy, he was always out at sea a lot. We saw him a lot, but there were also long periods of time when we didn't get to see him. I remember we would always sleep in my mom's room to keep her company and stuff whenever he was away. Even while I write this blog, I can barely see through the tears as I listen to the song again... I remember how happy we were to wait at the docks with all the other families just to see my dad again...

Fast forward several years. My dad is finally able to get permanently stationed in Hawaii. Growing up like a typical teenager, privacy, secrecy, hormones leading to puberty leading to the distance between us growing apart. He never got to teach me about the birds and the bees, I already learned it in school. He never got to take me out to love sports and stuff, but he' still proud that I got the brains to compensate. If there is anything in this life that I'll regret is being ashamed of my dad as a teenager. I never liked to go golfing with him every weekend, he had to practically force my brother and I. Whenever he went out, we'd have better things to do- stare at a computer screen or mindless slave away at a video game. Sometimes I feel like my biggest regret is that I feel like I'm not the son he wanted. I always feel like I let my dad down somewhere down the road. There are just some things I wish I could go back and change for him.

He'd never be one to tell you any of this though. In fact he's proud of me for who I am. He's proud that I'm the first in my family to attend college, to graduate high school with honors and advanced credits. Sometimes you never realize just how wise your father can be. Just because he grew up in a different time doesn't mean he didn't grow up facing the same things. Whenever I felt at my lowest, ready to give up, I could always come to my dad. No matter how bad it was, he understood and made me feel loads better. He's always there for me, even when I don't realize it. When it feels like there's no one on my side, no one who understands me, he'll always be there to pick me up. He's inspired so much in me to be a better person, if not for his sake, for mine. A father's love is relentless, unlimited, powerful... there is nothing so simple and truthful as this fact. Though this is not necessarily true for biological fathers, father-figures are also capable of a such love.

Thinking about my dad, listening to songs like 'Butterfly Kisses,' and watching movies of devoted fathers like 'Taken,' I can't wait to grow up and become a loving father myself. I feel it is my duty to one day protect my kids, pass down the teachings of my father, and just love them until they grow up to be respectable adults. I guess you can chalk it up to human nature, our purpose is to reproduce raise our young to repeat the process. Like I'll shamelessly tell anyone, I'd love to have a daughter one day, daddy's little girl you know? It'd also be neat to have a boy as well, teach him to be respectful and honest, kind and honorable. But only in dreams, it seems...

Anyway, in the end I guess you should never take things in your life for granted, whether it be your parents, grandparents, or anything and anyone else. We often never learn this until it's too late, either way, we lose something dear to us. Whether it be an actual, tangible thing or person, or just something like a childhood spent with your loved ones. We often regret the choices we make for self-benefit, so spread the love and cherish every moment you have with your loved ones.

I wish you all a happy fathers day whether you can spend it with your father or not.

Until next time, Arrivederci!